


A little sympathy, i hope you can show me

by sportsanigay



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: :(, Angst, Bokuaka - Freeform, Emotional, M/M, Sad Bokuto Koutarou, bitch okay, but I did, i didnt have to do it to em, i never post my works but in everything ive written these two NEVER get a break, im sad, im sorry, maybe i cried, whip dab
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 13:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17224904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sportsanigay/pseuds/sportsanigay
Summary: In their case, the love they had so desperately wanted to hold on to, left them.





	A little sympathy, i hope you can show me

**Author's Note:**

> This is incredibly short because i cant write.

It's not like Bokuto couldn’t see it coming. Even in his rigorous refusal the thoughts always came to him on nights like this. He and Akaashi had been together for so long and it was only natural that by 24 and 25 that burning passion that the two teenage boys held once upon a time, would eventually fade. So when Akaashi called him into the kitchen where he had been standing for quite some time and told him that he wanted to “talk about some things”, Bokuto still held onto the one small speck of hope he had left in his no longer fiery heart. 

“Koutarou…” Akaashi started and damn this wasn’t supposed to be something that would happen. Akaashi was never supposed to call him in that pitiful tone he had just used. They were supposed to be something that lasted forever.

“Please don’t Keiji, can’t we pretend for just a little while longer?”. His tone dripped with venom. Bokuto didn't mean for that to come out so vitriolic. He couldn't think about anything anymore and his throat was so dry. 

“Sorry..” he muttered instantly looking down. He could feel his eyes burning. The least he could do was let this end on a peaceful note. No screaming or fighting, just two lovers turned strangers moving towards new lives. 

“No.. i'm sorry too. This wasn’t supposed to be like this” Bokuto barely heard that last part, it was barely even a whisper when it came out of Akaashi’s mouth. After a pause that felt like a lifetime in Bokuto's brain, Akaashi finally spoke again.

“Bokuto, i think it's time we move on. This stopped being about love a long time ago, we both know it… As much as i want to run to you, where i know its safe.. i can’t anymore. I know that’s how you feel too. At some point this became about comfort for both of us. We both deserve better.” Bokuto couldn’t move, couldn't interrupt, couldn’t cry out and say ‘No, I love you and you love me. We were made for each other’ because none of that was true. What Akaashi was saying was, and had been the truth for a while. 

“But-“ He opened and closed his mouth trying to find words, but there were none At that point tears were slipping down both of their cheeks. Bokuto felt like he was losing his home. He wanted to beg Akaashi to stay but he couldn’t. He couldn’t. This was what needed to happen. 

“Can i ask something of you, Kaashi?” Bokuto questioned, when he looked up at Akaashi he realized his vision was quite blurry. 

“What is it?” Akaashi questioned as he kept his head down. 

“I know that I was known as the idiot and that I didn't know much about things I should’ve… but I know that once upon a time what we had was real. I know that i loved you. I know that what you’re saying now is truthful.” He paused, this was harder than he ever thought it would be. 

“I want you to find someone who can give you everything you’re looking for, someone with whom the passion wont fade. Someone with the strength to give you everything you deserve, something you could never get from me. I want you to find someone who can give you your best life and someone who NEVER makes you feel any less than wanted and beautiful. I wish it could’ve been me, and i bet everything inside of myself that it was…. Give me that would you, give me that peace that even though its not me who’s giving it, that you get your happy ending. Please?” Bokuto ended his final tirade to Akaashi, his throat was burning so hard as he spoke, but he genuinely wished this for him. 

“...You too… when I first saw you, i knew you were a star in my dark universe. I hope you find your happy ending too, Bokuto-san. Please push forward, and never stop. ” Akaashi smiled through his tears. They were both losing a piece of themselves that night. Sympathy was the very least that they could show eachother. 

“Thank you.” Bokuto smiled back, miraculously. His shoulders straightened and he felt like a weight had been lifted, yet in another way he felt empty and even with Akaashi standing right there he felt so lonely. This was a coldness he’d never felt in his life. A sadness he’d never felt, it was refreshing on one end. But so sickening on another. It was over and done with. Every memory they had shared, every kiss, every shed of intimacy and touch was soon to become something of the past. 

Long after Akaashi had left and even until the early hours of morning Bokuto sat stuck in the kitchen, the only time he had moved was to lock the door after Akaashi, who was supposed to be his endgame, left. He couldn’t figure out why this had hurt so much if they really were completely out of love with each other, but eventually chalked it up as indecipherable. He knew by now that times changed and people changed with them. They’d made it known that the time they had spent together was an experience they would never forget. They had expressed what they wished for the other in life and had even smiled whilst doing so. Bokuto felt that he shouldn't feel as sad as he did, especially after it had ended so quietly. However he guessed that was the part that hurt the most. They were both too tired to fight it. Too tired to keep whatever fire they had started with burning. After hours in that same spot, pondering whether this was really the best outcome, he finally picked himself up off of the metaphorical ground he had been setting on and took his first step toward his life without Akaashi Keiji. The next step and the only option left was to keep pushing forward…

 

“and never stop.” Bokuto murmured 

 

 

“ Someday you're gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You'll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing… “

-Elizabeth Gilbert

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sor- 
> 
>  
> 
> No but really, i really did cry while i was writing this. I felt inspired while listening to “Let Me Down Slowly” by Alec Benjamin, hence the title. I was like okay here we go BOKUAKA ANGST. This was definitely me just bullying myself and i truly could NOT figure out an ending for this without hurting my own feelings. I ALMOST stopped writing dead ass. Anyways, i hope you guys enjoyed this (as much as you could anyways :( ).


End file.
